The Grammy’s decided to not have any “near” nudity outfits allowed this year.  Let’s have a review of some celebrities who wore some “barely” there or “it’s about to fall out” outfits.

Advertisements

This is a letter to my son, my first born.

Before I go on, I want to say to my daughter, should she be reading this one day, that this is nothing against her.  I love that little girl with every fiber of my being, and her being in my life has made me a better person.  I am more in love with her than she will ever, ever know.

But this isn’t about her.  This is about my boy.

To my son, I ask for your forgiveness.

Last night, you fell asleep on the couch – and for the first time in a long time – I stared at you as you slept.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.  You, my first born, have been my “practice kid” – the one I make the most mistakes with, the one that I am still learning with, and the one that is raising me as much as I am raising you.

Son, I am sorry if at times it seems as though I don’t know what I am doing.  For the most part, I don’t.

I am sorry if I get angry at you for little things.  I have to remember that you are only 5 and you are still developing.

I am sorry if I can’t be at some of your school’s functions.  Mommy has to work to provide for the family, but it breaks my heart that I cannot be there everytime you need me.

I am sorry I travel occasionally for my job.  Luckily you have an AMAZING father who doesn’t skip a beat.  But I know there are times when daddy just won’t do.  You miss your mommy’s hugs.  (I miss yours, too when I am gone).

I am sorry that sometimes I have to put your sister’s needs before yours.  She is younger & requires more attention.  But please do not misinterpret my tending to her as loving her more.  Not true.

I am sorry that I do not buy you whatever your heart desires.  I want to – I do.  But you have to learn what its like to earn your money & spend it wisely.

I am sorry I don’t let you eat things that are bad for you.  I, too, would enjoy eating nothing but donuts and sugar all day, every day…..but it’s unhealthy, and you deserve better.

I am sorry if I seem to get annoyed with the things that you do, or I let my day effect my attitude.  This, over anything else, is the thing that makes me not like myself.  It’s not your fault I had a bad day.  You make my day BETTER.

I am sorry for the mistakes I will make in the future.

I apologize, in advance, for crying everytime you “graduate” to another grade.  It’s just a reminder that you are getting older and eventually won’t need me as much.

I apologize, in advance, for yelling at you a little too loud should you take up sports.  I am very competitive, and I like to win.  I don’t expect you to have that same fierce spirit in you; but I do hope you understand that I like to yell at the refs.

I apologize, in advance, for following you when you go out with your friends.

I apologize, in advance, for calling you all of the time when you are not with me.

I apologize, in advance, for sobbing uncontrollably at your high school graduation.

I apologize, in advance, for buying an apartment close to your college.  (And YES – you WILL go to college.  It’s not a choice.  And I would be very happy if you went to Grand Valley State University please).

I apologize, in advance, for NOT sobbing uncontrollably at your college graduation.  That day I will be beaming with pride.  My boy.

I apologize, in advance, to your future spouse.  I would hate having a mother-in-law like I am going to be. 

Lastly, I apologize, in advance, for seeing you become a father but still thinking you are my baby.

“I will love you forever.  I will like you for always.  As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”  Son, seeing you grow up is such a joy and a blessing.  I love you more than you will ever know.  Please forgive the mistakes I have made & understand I am still growing up, too.

This month’s, the focus will be on boundaries.  If you are like me, you may have an issue with it.  It’s hard to say no to some people.  When doing that, you tend to lose control in some areas of your life.  Can you relate to what I am saying?

I am currently reading a book called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  I highly recommend this book to those who have an issue setting boundaries in their life.

Don’t know if you are having issues with setting boundaries?  The book asked the following questions if you ever found yourself wondering:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
  • Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries?

Some of you may be thinking, “What exactly are boundaries when pertaining to me?”.  Well, the book states that they “are personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, and influence all areas of your life.”

The book discusses three types of boundaries: Physical, Mental and Emotional.

Physical boundaries help you to determine who may touch you and under what circumstance.

Mental boundaries give you the freedom to have your own thoughts and opinions.

Emotional boundaries help you deal with your own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others.

Does any of this sound familiar?  Can you relate to any of this? Do you need help in setting boundaries in your life?  Well this book is for you!

Here’s the book information and may it be a blessing in your life:

Softcover: $14.99

Hardcover: $21.99

———-

Softcover, Workbook: $12.99

Can you use a coupon for this? YES!  Visit Family Christian website to see what coupon to use, if they have free shipping and so much more!

I am currently on a journey to embracing the word “no”.  I have so many stories I can share on this topic, I could write my own book!  It’s a journey that’s slow, especially when you are dealing with folks close to you.  I know, with continued effort, I will soon have boundaries that I won’t regret.

You just can’t please everybody, you know?

Are you having issues with setting boundaries? What are they? Have you conquered the setting boundaries with family and friends?  Share your thoughts and stories with us.  We would love to know what’s on your mind.

Until next time…

La

The fact that it has taken me this long to write my first entry shows that I was probably overthinking this whole thing.   I think it was this month’s topic that kind of got me all up in arms.  When I got the topic I started thinking what in the world can I say about love.  I am not married, not dating, I don’t have any children or pets and I’m finding myself at a time in life when half of my friends are getting divorced and the other half are getting married.  Then the more thought about it (by thought I mean obsess) I kept finding myself in the same place… My current state of dealing with my last go ‘round in the love machine.

The last time I fell in love was Friday June 4, 2010 somewhere between the hours of 8pm and Midnight.  No, I am not joking and yes, I do know the date and timeframe (judge away). In fact, I remember that night as if it was yesterday.  I remember how those four hours seemed to go by in four minutes.   We attended a black-tie fundraiser and I’d been extremely nervous the entire week. After all, it was the first time we’d been out together around our mutual friends. But when I saw him that night all the nervousness disappeared and nothing and no one mattered.

Now for all the guys (and some of women) reading this I am so not one that falls easily for anyone. Nor was this a schoolgirl crush (mostly because I am literally way too old for such a thing).   I actually (for the first time in my adult life) could see us together for the long haul.  I don’t know if I actually wanted to marry him but I know that I didn’t want to be with anyone else.   I wasn’t and I am not one of those women that is just looking for a husband or someone to take care of them. I am very selective about the people in my world because like everyone in my life, I am a special person, my time is valuable and I only care to spend the moments I have in this life with people I love, trust and care about and they feel the same way about me. Heck, I don’t even have a link for people to add me as a friend on Facebook.  That is how selective I am about the people in my life and even the people who are my friends on Facebook don’t have access to my entire online life.

I’d been single (not dating) for a long time and I ‘d always been fine with it.  I have a wonderful family and carefully selected friends (not people I know, I mean friends) so life was grand. But somehow, it happened I fell in love and I fell hard. I fell in love with a man who by all accounts is/was one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. Even though the dynamic of our relationship has drastically changed since the night I fell in love I still think he is a wonderful person (for the most part) and I still love him.   There was something about him that just made me so comfortable…more comfortable than I’d ever been with anyone EVER.  Everything seemed so perfect even when it wasn’t…

We both love music, sports, share similar views on politics, quality of life didn’t hurt either.   Apparently, the only thing we didn’t share similar views on was each other and our relationship (sadly this isn’t a joke).   Now I won’t go into the details about how it all changed because it really doesn’t matter.  I will say we BOTH made some mistakes.  There were things that happened that I made a conscious decision to ignore and thinking back that may have not been the smartest thing but it is what it is and I can’t change it.  To be honest and to bring this whole thing full circle as much as I’ve gone through since we made the decision to limit our interaction with one another (he’ll say I made the decision), I wouldn’t change anything (except for us not being together).  Everything I did and said was out of the love I had/have for him.  I took a chance with giving my heart to someone whom I felt deserved it and yes, I am still trying to get it back (which is easier said than done).

There is nothing certain when it comes to love, this goes with family, friends and significant others.   Anytime we fall in love, we’re taking a chance, there is a chance it’ll work, and there is a chance it won’t.  Unfortunately, for me it didn’t work and it has been a difficult dealing with the drastic shift in our relationship but I learned so much about myself that sometimes (only sometimes) it made falling in love worth it.  After all, there is nothing greater than LOVE.

According to 1 Corinthians 13:13, there are three things that will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

I have faith that our bond is stronger than words and can overcome any obstacle.

I have hope the promises we made to one another, to always be strong when the other is weak will always stand.

 And, I have more love for you than words can say and gestures could ever show.

Until next time…

Labels Labels Labels, they’re tricky I tell you.  When we’re kids, we could care less about them it’s when we get older that we start to allow labels to dictate who we will and who we won’t get to know.   You know how we label people without even knowing it…she’s cute, he’s smart, she’s selfish, or he’s autistic.  Yes autistic is a label.  Why would you say it’s a label if the person is actually autistic?  Good question!  The same way a pretty girl is pretty but she constantly is saying there’s more to her than her pretty face.  She’s probably smart, funny, and a talented dancer…but all people accept her for is the fact that she’s pretty.   Pretty has become a label, it’s a positive label but she’d prefer that people go beyond that label and get to know her.

Labels sometimes allow people to take the easy way out.  They kind of allow a person to say…Instead of getting to know you, I’ll trust what this label says and then decide whether or not I want to put forth the effort.  Sounds harsh but it’s true.  I wish people could push past the label and get to know the individual.  Autism doesn’t diminish creative, smart, funny, and talented.  All of those things still exist in an autistic person but if you can’t get past “autistic” you’ll never know.   When it comes to autism, there are so many people that don’t understand it.  The individual is on a spectrum, it’s a wide range that goes from mild to severe.  So you can have individuals on medication and some that aren’t, you can have some that have speech and some that don’t, you can have some that are able to socialize with their peers and some that aren’t…..but all are autistic.  So you see, you need to know the person to know where they are on the spectrum.   But that means going beyond the label.

When observing my daughter at school, I see a lot of the children doing just that….looking beyond the label.  One day I was picking my daughter up from latchkey and normally my daughter is on the computer while everyone else is doing something else.  And when I come, the children announce my presence by yelling to my daughter “your mommy’s here!”  So on this day, after the announcement was made my daughter got off of the computer and began getting her coat and backpack.  As she was putting on her coat, one little girl came up to her and said “here, you’re invited to my party” and she handed my daughter an invitation.  Now just seeing that, I thought it was cute because she’s accepting that my daughter’s not going to be the most social and she might not even say anything to her…but she still wants her to come to her party.  We can learn a lot from our children.  Make an effort to go beyond the label and get to know the individual.

Here’s the invitation…

I sometimes wonder, how would it be if I never existed?  Weird huh? But, it’ll make you think.  Seriously, think about it.

I wondered what happened if my mom never met my dad or if my mom decided, dare I say it, abort me! (:o)  Reality is, those are valid questions.  Am I right?  It is what it is.  So, now…how would it be if I never existed?  Let’s do a run down shall we?

  1. I would have missed out on two of the GREATEST parents ever!
  2. My brother wouldn’t have a sister like me.
  3. My children wouldn’t have ever been born.
  4. In my Willie Nelson voice, “To all the men I loved before” wouldn’t have had a chance to love an awesome person like me! Yeah, I am pretty awesome! WOOT!
  5. My friends wouldn’t have had a friend like me.
  6. My church would have been one less of a fantastic worker!
  7. My jobs wouldn’t have progressed as much.
  8. My high school alumni association wouldn’t have a hard working board member that kicks behind on every task!
  9. Campaigns would have been won!
  10. Those who wanted to commit suicide just might have.
  11. Those who needed money might not have gotten it when they needed it.
  12. Those who needed someone to talk to wouldn’t have had someone at that time.
  13. Those who needed a place to stay because they had no where else to go may have been homeless.
  14. I wouldn’t have lupus.
  15. I wouldn’t be an auntie.
  16. I wouldn’t be here to help those who are ALWAYS needing help…FOR FREE! LOL
  17. I wouldn’t be here to piss some people off! LOLOLOL
  18. I wouldn’t be here to make people laugh when they needed.
  19. I wouldn’t be here to console those who needed it.
  20. I wouldn’t be typing this.

Wow, the list can go on!  But because of God’s purpose for my life, He blessed my mom and dad with their first child together and allowed her to be born LaShawnda Denise Wrice.  I was daddy’s little girl and mama’s bestfriend and homie, even till this day.

As I sit here and type this, tears are building up in my eyes. Why? Because when I look back over my life, I have had some awesome experiences and I continue to have many memorable moments.

The moments I cherish the most is with my family.  I look forward to seeing my daughters. I can tolerate my brother…. sometimes. LOLOL But I love him to pieces.  And I look forward to hanging out with my bestfriend and homie every weekend, my mama!

I often wonder how would it have been to have my dad alive, especially now.  Man, it would have been some good times and I am sure some not so good, but what life is perfect?  He was my bestfriend and what time he was on this earth, he instilled so much in me that to this day, I still tell everyone about my dad.  He is still in my heart and I miss so much.

Ok, kinda went off the wagon there for a moment. 🙂

All in all, we are all here for a reason and whether you were born with both parents or one, you have a purpose on your life. You are here for a reason. You were born because someone loved you!  IF you were adopted, you were so loved, that your mom wanted what was best for you.  I know, sounds cliche’, but it’s the truth.  Trust me, I know.

Love is what got me here.  Love is what I give and show daily.  Love is what I love to receive.  And because of love, I AM HERE!

LaShawnda
ImpactU

I was sitting on the couch last night, minding my own business.  I looked up from my intense game of Angry Birds, and I catch eyes with my husband.

“What are you doing way over there,” I asked as he sat on the couch across from me.  “Why don’t you come over here and give me some sugar.”

3 seconds later, my husband was next to me.  I nuzzled my face into his neck and kissed him all over his face in a very playful way.  Back when I was in college, I read somewhere that when you kiss a man all over his face, he feels loved.  I’ve been doing this to my husband for years.

As I continued, my 2 1/2-year-old daughter comes into the living room.  She sees her mommy kissing her daddy.   Not too long after, my 5 1/2-year-old son is right behind her.  In the very brief moment between them seeing me kissing their father and them jumping onto our laps, I thought to myself, “This is SO GOOD for them to see their parents loving each other.”

My husband, for the record, was happy to get up so the kids could get some love from their momma.  He is, ummm….not very affectionate.  Granted, he has grown leaps and bounds in that department since we started dating 12 years ago.  But for the most part, he is who he is – not a cuddler.  I, on the other hand, LOVE giving affection, not so good at receiving affection – so we’re a perfect match.

My husband and I didn’t always have a great marriage.  In fact, you could say that in the beginning, we both thought we were headed for divorce.  It was hard for us, the transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to husband/wife.  We had never lived with each other before, we were both young (or young by today’s standards – married at 25), and we both had a fierce desire to remain independent.  I remember when we “celebrated” our 2nd wedding anniversary.  I thought to myself, “Wow, I can’t believe we didn’t divorce before 2 years.  Enjoy this anniversary, sister – it’s probably your last with this guy.”  And that’s how I felt.  I really felt it would be our last wedding anniversary.

Then, a little while later, something snapped in me.  I realized if I got a divorce, I would be punking out.  And I DON’T punk out.  I knew if I went through with a divorce, it wouldn’t be fair to him, to me, and to our marriage.  After all, we never really gave it a shot.  We never worked for it.  We just both assumed marriage would just work.  And when it didn’t, we both thought one thing – divorce.  But that’s not how I was raised, that’s not something I could comprehend.  I knew I could do better.  I knew I could work harder.  I knew I could change.

And luckily, he was thinking the same thing.

So, we did what most couples don’t do: we worked on our marriage.  Crazy concept, eh?  Not giving up?  Everyday – and I mean every SINGLE day – we worked on our marriage and on ourselves.  Before long, it became natural.  And not too long after that, I became happy again.  And then I realized, “Holy crap.  I love my husband.”  And what’s even better than loving your husband is respecting him, trusting him, and treating him with the decency and kindness that he deserves.

Most newlywed girls/women like to proclaim, “I married my best friend.”  Well, I didn’t.   I married my boyfriend.  Over time, over struggles and sadness and laughter and all that goes along with a marriage – he BECAME my best friend.  And that’s such a great feeling to have.  I come home everyday to a man that loves me for me, that listens to me, that hugs me, that constantly tells me how wonderful he thinks I am.  I’m not perfect by any means.  But there is someone in this world who thinks otherwise.  And that’s pretty awesome.

On January 6th, while he was visiting me in Las Vegas while I was there for work, he surprised me by renewing our vows.  And this time, they meant more.  This time, I felt the words.  I meant every word I uttered back when we got married in 2003.  But when I said those words again on January 6th, it was different.  We had experience, we had been burned, we had learned what it meant to fight for something we wanted.  That day, probably moreso than the day we got married, meant more to me than anything.

My kids have a great father who loves their mother very much.  And they have a great mother who will never stop kissing their fathers face on the couch.

I was helping my daughter with her homework the other day.  And I was so happy and proud to see her writing, counting, sounding out words and….well…let’s go back about 4 years so you can understand.

Four years ago my daughter was 3 years old and she had a vocabulary of about 20-30 words, she was barely writing, not answering questions like “what is your name”, and when playing she didn’t interact with other children.  My daughter was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3, and I had no clue as to what I needed to or should do next.  Initially, I did get caught up in what I wanted for her because autism was not on my agenda.  But I soon adopted the motto “it’s not about you” when it came to her.  It’s not about me and my parental ego.

  • But she’ll have to see a therapist….it’s not about you
  • But we may not be able to go everywhere everyone else goes due to sensory issues now….it’s not about you
  • But she can’t be in a regular class in school right now….it’s not about you
  • But this isn’t what I wanted for her….it’s not about you

My daughter could care less about the particular class she’s in or seeing a therapist, that’s just my parental ego.  What will benefit her most?  That’s the question, and whatever the answer is…that’s what I need to be doing.  Autism isn’t the end of the story, it’s a condition that we must learn as it pertains to the individual and make the proper adjustments in our lives.  It affects the nervous system, which allows us to perceive/comprehend/and respond to the world around us.  So autistic persons just perceive/comprehend/and respond differently…that’s it.

Temple Grandin said it best (and if you haven’t seen Temple Grandin’s HBO movie you should) by saying she sees the world in pictures.  That’s not to say she’s not able to see the world, and comprehend what’s around her…she just processes it differently.

NOW let’s fast forward 4 years to me watching my daughter do her homework the other day.  She’s writing very well, she’s counting & writing numbers, she’s telling me objects that begin with the letter she’s writing…..now can you see why I’m a happy and proud mom J  As long as there’s no regression, you’re moving forward and that’s progress!

We apologize for the inconvenience, but we are currently working on a new blog.

We should be up and running by February 5, 2012.

Come back then and we look forward to your participation.