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Autism Activist and ImpactU Today Contributor, Michelle Love, has passed away.

LaShawnda

This hurts.

Please pray for the family and friends of Michelle Love.

She comes from a loving and close family. She has always been nice and hilarious at the right moment. One of the quotes I use often is “Don’t be deep, be real!” It came from her. I LOVE THAT QUOTE.

She was a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated, and made at Tau Chapter (Wayne State University) in 1996.

Please pray that God’s healing strength is given during this time to her family (especially her daughter) and friends. Death is uncertain, but God IS! He never changes.

One thing we know for sure is she’s in Heaven….a place we hope to be when we leave this crazy place… to rest in His arms.

And that right there says a lot!

One thing folks didn’t know, she was a great writer. If you want to read some of her writing contributions to ImpactU Today, check it out here: https://impactutoday.com/author/mdot96/ .

Thank you in advance.

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A Word About Grace

LaShawnda

Here’s another good blog post!

Chaos & Naked Grace

So, I said in my first post I don’t like to talk about politics and religion and that I’d tell you why. So here we are talking about it. But..it’s going to be a one and done as far as I’m concerned.

I looked at my first post and thought, man, that’s just too long. Keep it shorter Michelle. But seriously, I don’t think it’s possible. I’m already distracted by everything I want to cram in here. So I’ll start by saying I find politics boring. I know they’re important. To some people. Just not to me. It doesn’t mean I turn a blind eye to what is going on in the world or in my own country. It doesn’t mean I don’t care or I’m not concerned. But in general, politics put me to sleep and people arguing about them even more so. I’m blown away by people who…

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Causes

Forgiving Yourself (Let it go)

mdot96

forgiveness

Forgiving anyone is no small task, but it’s doable.  Forgiving yourself…now that can be tricky.  In order to forgive anyone, you have to acknowledge the hurt, pain, disappointment, and/or frustration.  You can’t keep walking around acting like it’s ok.  As parents we go into “it’s ok” mode quickly, it makes it easy to move to the next task.  If I sit and think about how hurt I am, then I’ll start crying and then I may want to talk and I just don’t have time for that right now so let’s just push these feelings over into a nice little corner and move on.  We’re good, right?  On the outside we all know how to make it look like we’re good but on the inside not so much.  Me being a mom (of a beautiful autistic young lady might I add), I can say that I can be extremely hard on myself as a parent.  You can try to encourage me all you want but all I hear is wah wah wah wah wah (Charlie Brown’s teacher’s voice).  I’ve had family and friends tell me: You’re doing a great job, You can’t do it all, It’s ok, You need to take a break, You’re too hard on yourself, I don’t know how you do it…..wah wah wah wah.  Because my self talk is the total opposite…I’m telling myself, You suck, You can be so stupid, You’re not a good mother, She deserves more…that’s my self talk…kind of horrible.  If I talked to anyone else like this, I’d need to ask for forgiveness because it’s not acceptable…I deserve that same courtesy.

Being an autistic mom (or mom of an autistic child), there has been and will always be times when I need to be the advocate.   There has been and will always be times when I see what she doesn’t and I need to be her voice.  Whether it be at school, at church, or just in the grocery store.  There are people that still don’t understand autism, they still stare at her (adults moreso than children), they still try to give me criticism dressed up as advice on basically what can be done to make them feel comfortable with my child being autistic & sharing space with them.  I have to forgive myself for all of the times that I was too afraid to…or felt that I didn’t know enough to…or was just too shocked at the time to stand up for my daughter and be her voice.  But I also have to make sure that the next time, I’m ready.

There’s so many more things that I need to forgive myself for, and until I started writing this post I never even thought about it.  At the end of the day (I hate that I typed that phrase) I want to be the best mother that I can be and be the mother that my daughter needs me to be.  And to do that I can’t be drained from the negative self talk and beating up myself for every decision.  In the words of the oh so wise Else from Frozen I have to (sing it with me) Let It Go & embrace what is, accepting the complement sand encouragement without saying “yeah but”.  Just let it go 🙂

Family

Forgive Yourself

LaShawnda

Forgive Yourself

As a wife and mother, you never realize how often you have to forgive yourself. For example, yesterday was the first day of school for our older three. Wait, let me rewind and set the stage.

(Que- Black Star Instrumental) Hello, I’m a 35yr old, Brown Skinned Lady, I’ve been married almost 11yrs (Oct. 2005) to my awesomely geeky husband. I have four beautiful, intelligent boys (12, 8, 5, 1). I’m born and raised in the 313.  If you would have asked my 17yr old self would I be married with four children by 35, I probably would have said, “yes” with some variations (music fade out).

I’m a career mom and an entrepreneur when I have time. Being me isn’t easy. Many people ask me “I don’t know how you do it”? My response, “the Holy Spirit,” like if I was to take an outer body experience and look at myself, I would probably want to commit myself. Like, literally in today’s society, it’s a lot to take on.

So back to my original story…. first day of school. I set my alarm the night before for 5:30am. My kids were all in bed. As I set my alarm, I thought to myself, I won’t be there for the first day of school. How does a mother not make it to the first day of school? I mean I’m, a working mother who had a pressing call at 8:30 a.m. The question would be, “couldn’t you have pushed your meeting back? The answer, No.  In all my 12yrs of parenting, I have NEVER missed a first day of school. However, that day had come.

When I think about it, I think of the words of one of my directors said during a meeting, “It’s not work, life, balance” it’s more like “work, life, compromise”. Well, today was a compromise. A compromise, which I also had to forgive myself after it’s all said and done.

I have to forgive myself for being a career mom. I have to forgive myself for actually liking my career and even the times it takes me out of town. I have to forgive myself, for not being there all the time and as attentive as I should. However, I can’t fully say I’m mad at myself though. I am living my best life right now. I’m living the life I’ve always wanted, a home in a historic Detroit neighborhood, working for one of the largest auto companies, I’m well educated and I have four brown boys that keep me alive. Most importantly, I’m married to my best friend and he supports me in everything I do. Can you say WINNING!?!?

Forgiving one’s self is cyclical. There will always be something the makes us think you’re not enough and you can always do more/better. The key to all of this is no matter what, this too shall pass. We have to forgive, dust your shoulders off**jay-z** and keep it moving. Because you know what? There is still so much life to live and as for me… I’m going to live my life to the fullest.

Constance Thomas is married to Kristopher Thomas and they have four boys Khamani, Dylan, Chase and Levi. She currently works in Diversity Marketing for General Motors. You can follow her on Twitter: @Only1ConnieT

 

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Are You Living Below Your Potential?

LaShawnda

We are more than we have become!

Live Better with Dr. Willie Jolley

My wife loves theater – particularly the play, The Lion King. She can see that play over and over and over again, each time getting the same thrill. And she also enjoys watching the movie with our grandkids.  And to be honest, I enjoy the experience each time as well…because every time I see the play or watch the movie, I get a new perspective about life.

Be More
On my most recent viewing, I was re-inspired by one specific statement. Mufasa, the father, appears as an apparition to his son, Simba, who by this time is a grown, but playful, adult. Mufasa appears and says, “Simba, you are more than you have become!”  

As I listened to that line, I realized that statement could apply to all of us!  We tend to get comfortable with life and don’t always get serious about the possibilities for our lives…

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