Category: Social

Marriage, Self Care, Social

When a Man Leaves You: What to Avoid and How to Heal

LaShawnda

Breakups are never easy, and when a man you once loved decides to leave, it can leave you feeling heartbroken and lost. While it’s natural to experience a mix of emotions during this time, it’s essential to take care of yourself and navigate the healing process in a healthy way. In this blog, we’ll explore some key things to avoid and essential steps to take when a man leaves you, helping you find strength and healing in the midst of this difficult time.

Avoid Blaming Yourself:
One of the first things to avoid when a man leaves you is blaming yourself for the breakup. Remember that relationships involve two people, and it’s rarely a one-sided issue. It’s natural to feel hurt and wonder what went wrong, but internalizing all the blame can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Instead, recognize that relationships can be complex, and sometimes they don’t work out for reasons beyond your control.

Give Yourself Time to Grieve:
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused during this period. Suppressing your emotions may only prolong the healing process. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family who can lend a listening ear and provide comfort during this challenging time.

Avoid Rebounding:
Resist the temptation to jump into a new relationship immediately after a breakup. While it’s normal to seek companionship and distract yourself from the pain, rebound relationships rarely lead to genuine connections. Take the time to focus on yourself and understand what you truly want from future relationships.

Cut Off Contact (at least temporarily):
While it might be tempting to stay friends with your ex, maintaining regular contact may hinder the healing process. Consider cutting off contact (at least temporarily) to give yourself space and time to move on. Constant reminders of the past can make it difficult to look forward and embrace new opportunities.

Seek Professional Support if Needed:
If you find it challenging to cope with the emotional turmoil after the breakup, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Speaking with a therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and coping strategies, helping you process your emotions and develop a healthier outlook on relationships.

Avoid Seeking Validation from Others:
Seeking validation from others to boost your self-esteem may feel like a quick fix, but it’s not a sustainable solution. Instead, focus on self-improvement and nurturing your self-worth from within. Engage in activities that make you feel happy and accomplished, whether it’s pursuing a hobby, career goals, or personal growth.

Allow Yourself to Love Again:
It’s normal to feel guarded after a breakup, but don’t let fear prevent you from opening your heart to love again. Remember that every relationship is unique, and finding the right person may take time. Be patient with yourself and the process.

Experiencing a breakup can be incredibly challenging, but it can also be an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. When a man leaves you, it’s crucial to avoid self-blame, give yourself time to heal and surround yourself with supportive people. Focus on self-improvement, seek professional support if needed, and remember that love will find its way back into your life when the time is right. Embrace the journey of healing, and you’ll emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before.

Social

When a Man is Wasting Your Time: Recognizing Red Flags and Taking Control

LaShawnda

In the journey of finding a meaningful and fulfilling relationship, we encounter various people with whom we hope to build something special. However, not every encounter leads to a lasting connection, and at times, we may find ourselves entangled with someone who seems to be wasting our time. While it’s essential to approach relationships with an open heart, it’s equally important to recognize when a man may not be fully committed or sincere in his intentions. In this blog post, we will explore some telltale signs that indicate when a man is wasting your time and how to regain control of your romantic life.

Lack of Consistency

One of the clearest indicators that a man might be wasting your time is inconsistency in his behavior. He may shower you with affection and attention one day, only to become distant and aloof the next. This hot-and-cold behavior can leave you feeling confused and emotionally drained, making it challenging to build trust and a solid foundation for a genuine connection.

Ambiguity about the Relationship

Another red flag to watch out for is a man’s reluctance to define the relationship. If he avoids discussing the future or constantly sidesteps any talk about commitment, it’s a clear sign that he may not be serious about a long-term relationship with you. Don’t settle for someone who keeps you in a state of perpetual uncertainty.

Prioritizing Other Aspects of Life

While it’s natural for everyone to have priorities outside of a relationship, a man who consistently prioritizes other aspects of his life over spending quality time with you may not be fully invested. If he frequently cancels plans or doesn’t make an effort to fit you into his life, it’s a signal that you might not be a significant priority for him.

Lack of Emotional Availability

For any relationship to flourish, emotional availability and vulnerability are crucial. If a man avoids opening up about his feelings or appears distant when you share yours, it could indicate that he is emotionally unavailable. It’s essential to be with someone who reciprocates your emotional investment and supports your emotional needs.

Resisting Compromise and Communication

Effective communication and the willingness to compromise are vital for any relationship to thrive. If you find that your partner consistently refuses to address conflicts or dismisses your concerns, it can lead to frustration and resentment. A man who isn’t willing to work through challenges with you may not be genuinely interested in building a healthy and lasting relationship.

Focusing on Superficial Aspects

If a man seems overly focused on superficial aspects of the relationship, such as appearance, material possessions, or societal status, it may indicate that he values shallow qualities over meaningful connection and compatibility. A relationship built on superficialities is unlikely to stand the test of time.

Taking Control and Moving Forward

Recognizing when a man is wasting your time is the first step towards reclaiming control of your romantic life. Here are some steps you can take to move forward:

Trust Your Instincts: Listen to your gut feelings and intuition. If something feels off, don’t ignore it.

Set Boundaries: Define what you want and need from a relationship, and don’t be afraid to communicate those boundaries clearly.

Communicate Openly: Have honest conversations about your expectations and feelings. If the man isn’t receptive or doesn’t respect your concerns, it may be time to reassess the relationship.

Focus on Self-Growth: Invest time in your personal development, hobbies, and interests. Building a fulfilling life outside of a romantic relationship will empower you.

Be Willing to Walk Away: Remember that you deserve a partner who values and respects you. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs.

Recognizing when a man is wasting your time is essential for your emotional well-being and self-worth. By paying attention to red flags and taking control of your romantic life, you can create space for a meaningful and fulfilling relationship with someone who truly appreciates and values you. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who is as committed to building a lasting connection as you are.

Marriage, Social

Love’s Liberation: Embracing the Power of Being Properly Loved by a Man

LaShawnda

In a world craving genuine connections, discovering a love that empowers and uplifts a woman is truly a gift. Join us as we delve into the transformative journey of a woman being properly loved by a man, exploring the liberation, growth, and joy that come hand in hand. Get ready to witness the power of a love that nurtures and celebrates her true essence. #LoveEmpowerment #ProperLove #EmbracingLiberation

#MutualRespect: A Foundation for Growth Being properly loved by a man establishes a solid foundation of mutual respect. This respect breeds an environment where both partners can thrive individually and as a couple. Witness the profound impact of a love that acknowledges and supports dreams, ambitions, and personal growth. #RespectfulLove #ThrivingPartnership

#UnveilingVulnerability: A Safe Haven of Trust In a relationship founded on proper love, a woman experiences a safe haven of trust. This sanctuary enables her to embrace vulnerability, knowing her emotions and thoughts will be received with compassion and understanding. Discover the empowerment that comes from opening one’s heart without fear of judgment or rejection. #SafeHavenLove #EmbracingVulnerability

#FuelingConfidence: Igniting Self-Expression Proper love ignites an unwavering flame of confidence within a woman. With her partner’s genuine love and support, she dares to pursue her dreams, take on challenges, and conquer her fears. Witness the transformation of a woman who embraces her worth, unleashing her true potential and radiating self-assuredness. #ConfidenceIgnited #UnleashingPotential

#BalancedIndependence: Nurturing Individuality A woman properly loved by a man discovers a harmonious dance of independence and partnership. Witness the beauty of a relationship that honors each other’s identities, interests, and goals, while nurturing a deep connection and shared values. Explore the empowerment that comes from maintaining individuality while embracing a thriving partnership. #IndependentTogether #HarmoniousLove

#EvolvingCommunication: Building Bridges Proper love cultivates open and honest communication, strengthening the bond between partners. Witness the growth that blossoms when feelings, thoughts, and concerns are shared without judgment or dismissal. Explore the power of effective communication as it paves the way for understanding, conflict resolution, and a shared journey of growth. #OpenCommunication #BuildingBridges

Embrace the extraordinary power of a woman being properly loved by a man, as we celebrate the liberation, growth, and joy that unfold. Explore a love founded on mutual respect, trust, and support—a love that fuels confidence, nurtures individuality, and fosters open communication. Dare to seek a love that empowers, uplifts, and celebrates the incredible woman you are destined to be. #LoveLiberation #EmpoweredLove #JourneyofProperLove

Social

Nurturing Masculinity: Therapy and Healing for Men with Childhood and Self Issues

LaShawnda

In a society that often places pressure on men to be strong and self-reliant, it can be challenging for them to acknowledge and seek help for their childhood and self-related issues. However, therapy offers a transformative space for men to explore their past, confront deep-rooted wounds, and embark on a journey of healing and self-discovery. In this blog entry, we will delve into the importance of therapy for men with childhood and self-issues, highlighting the potential benefits and debunking common misconceptions.

1. Unveiling the Layers: Childhood and Self Issues

Men, like women, can carry emotional baggage from childhood experiences that shape their sense of self. Childhood trauma, neglect, or invalidation can lead to issues such as low self-esteem, unresolved anger, emotional disconnection, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships. These issues may manifest in self-sabotaging behaviors, emotional withdrawal, or a persistent sense of emptiness. Therapy provides a safe and non-judgmental space to unravel these layers and foster healing.

2. Breaking the Stigma: Overcoming Barriers to Therapy

Seeking therapy is often stigmatized, especially for men who are expected to be self-reliant and stoic. However, it is crucial to challenge these societal expectations and recognize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy offers an opportunity for men to confront their vulnerabilities, develop self-awareness, and build healthier coping mechanisms. By breaking the stigma, men can reclaim their power and transform their lives.

3. A Journey of Self-Exploration: Discovering Authenticity

Therapy allows men to embark on a journey of self-exploration, providing a supportive environment for them to reconnect with their authentic selves. Through introspection and guided reflection, they can gain insight into their emotions, behaviors, and beliefs. Therapy empowers men to challenge societal expectations and cultivate a more authentic version of masculinity that aligns with their actual values and desires.

4. Healing Childhood Wounds: Resolving Trauma and Emotional Pain

Childhood trauma and unresolved issues can continue to impact men’s lives in significant ways. Therapy offers a space to process and heal these wounds. Through evidence-based techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), or psychodynamic therapy, men can gain tools to navigate their past, release emotional pain, and develop healthier coping strategies. Healing childhood wounds is a vital step toward cultivating self-worth and living a more fulfilling life.

5. Embracing Growth and Empowerment: Tools for Self-Transformation

Therapy equips men with valuable tools and strategies for self-transformation. From developing emotional intelligence and communication skills to learning healthy boundary-setting and assertiveness, therapy empowers men to navigate challenges with confidence and resilience. By embracing personal growth, men can reshape their identities, foster more beneficial relationships, and find greater fulfillment in their lives.

Therapy offers a transformative journey for men with childhood and self issues, enabling them to heal, grow, and embrace their authentic selves. By breaking through societal stigmas and seeking help, men can embark on a path of self-exploration, healing childhood wounds, and cultivating healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy provides a safe and supportive space for men to confront their vulnerabilities and develop the tools necessary to navigate life’s challenges. As we redefine masculinity, it is essential to recognize the importance of therapy in nurturing emotional well-being and fostering personal growth for men.

Social

The Power of Early Boundaries in Relationships: Building Healthy Foundations

LaShawnda

Setting boundaries in relationships is a vital aspect of establishing healthy dynamics and fostering mutual respect. By defining and communicating our needs, desires, and limits from the outset, we can create a solid foundation for open communication and emotional well-being. In this blog post, we will explore the significance of setting boundaries early in relationships, understand the benefits it brings, and discuss practical ways to implement and maintain them.

1. Establishing Mutual Respect and Understanding:

Setting boundaries early on sends a clear message to both partners that their needs and feelings are valued and respected. It establishes a framework of open communication and demonstrates that each person’s individuality is honored within the relationship. By discussing boundaries at the beginning, both individuals can better understand each other’s comfort levels, expectations, and personal limits.

2. Creating Emotional Safety and Trust:

Healthy boundaries create a sense of emotional safety and trust within the relationship. When individuals feel confident in expressing their boundaries, they are more likely to be vulnerable and authentic. This fosters an environment where both partners can share their thoughts, fears, and desires without fear of judgment or rejection. Establishing trust early on paves the way for deeper emotional connection and long-term relationship satisfaction.

3. Preventing Resentment and Misunderstandings:

Without clear boundaries, relationships can be prone to misunderstandings, unmet expectations, and resentment. By setting boundaries early, partners can proactively address potential issues and avoid unnecessary conflicts. Establishing guidelines around personal space, communication preferences, and emotional needs helps ensure that both individuals are on the same page and can navigate their relationship with mutual understanding and respect.

4. Building Self-Awareness and Empowerment:

Setting boundaries requires self-awareness and introspection. It encourages individuals to examine their own needs, values, and limits, which leads to personal growth and empowerment. By clearly articulating boundaries, individuals cultivate a stronger sense of self and develop the confidence to advocate for their needs in a relationship. This self-empowerment enhances overall well-being and promotes a healthier partnership.

5. Effective Communication and Revisiting Boundaries:

Early boundary-setting establishes a foundation of effective communication. It encourages ongoing dialogue about individual needs and the evolving dynamics of the relationship. As the relationship progresses, it is essential to revisit and adjust boundaries as necessary. People grow and change over time, and boundaries may need to be redefined to accommodate new circumstances or challenges. Regularly discussing and updating boundaries ensures that both partners feel heard, understood, and supported.

Setting boundaries early in relationships is an essential component of establishing healthy and fulfilling partnerships. It creates an environment of mutual respect, emotional safety, and effective communication. By defining individual needs and limits from the outset, individuals can prevent misunderstandings, cultivate self-awareness, and build the foundation for a strong and balanced connection. Remember, setting boundaries is not about control or creating walls; it is about honoring and nurturing oneself and creating a relationship where both partners can thrive and grow together.

Social

The Beauty of True Friendship: Building Lasting Bonds That Stand the Test of Time

LaShawnda

True friendship is a precious gem that brings joy, support, and fulfillment to our lives. These meaningful connections go beyond casual acquaintances and weather the storms of life. In this blog post, we’ll explore the essence of true friendship and share valuable tips on how to nurture and sustain these special bonds for the long haul.

  1. Authenticity and Acceptance: The foundation of a lasting friendship lies in authenticity and acceptance. Be your genuine self and encourage your friends to do the same. Embrace each other’s quirks, strengths, and vulnerabilities. True friends love and appreciate each other for who they truly are, fostering an environment of trust and understanding.
  2. Open Communication: Effective communication is vital in any relationship, and friendships are no exception. Cultivate a safe space for open and honest dialogue. Express your feelings, needs, and concerns, while actively listening to your friend’s perspective. Clear and compassionate communication resolves conflicts, strengthen connections, and builds deeper trust.
  3. Mutual Respect and Support: Respect is the cornerstone of a healthy and enduring friendship. Value each other’s opinions, boundaries, and life choices. Celebrate each other’s successes and offer support during challenging times. True friends uplift, encourage, and inspire one another to reach their full potential, acting as steadfast pillars of support.
  4. Shared Interests and Quality Time: Nurture your friendship by engaging in shared activities and creating cherished memories. Discover common interests and make time for meaningful experiences together. Whether it’s exploring new hobbies, traveling, or simply enjoying each other’s company, these shared moments strengthen the bond and create a treasure trove of cherished memories.
  5. Trust and Reliability: Trust is the glue that holds true friendships together. Be dependable and reliable, honoring your commitments and maintaining confidentiality. Trust is built over time through consistent actions and integrity. Demonstrating trustworthiness deepens the connection and fosters a sense of security within the friendship.
  6. Embrace Growth and Change: Friendships evolve as individuals grow and navigate different life stages. Embrace these changes and support each other’s personal growth. Allow room for exploration, new experiences, and individual pursuits. True friends understand that growth is an ongoing process and adapt to the changing dynamics while maintaining a strong bond.
  7. Quality Over Quantity: Focus on the quality of your friendships rather than the quantity. Cultivate a small circle of genuine connections that enrich your life. It’s better to have a few true friends who genuinely care and support you than a large network of superficial acquaintances. Invest your time and energy in cultivating deep connections that will stand the test of time.

True friendships are invaluable treasures that bring joy, understanding, and unwavering support. By nurturing authenticity, practicing open communication, mutual respect, and reliability, and embracing growth and change, you can cultivate friendships that last a lifetime. Cherish these bonds, invest in them wholeheartedly, and celebrate the beautiful journey of true friendship. Remember, lasting friendships are a source of happiness, comfort, and lifelong companionship.

Social

Forgive even when my intentions were pure?

cclarkeiii

When I was a young lad entering college I thought I knew everything.  I can say I was wrong about ALOT of things then.  But what I was mostly wrong about was how to be a person that people respected.  I can’t place my finger on the time or date, but somewhere along the line, I understood that treating people like shit would gain respect.  So I did a lot of it.  I am reminded of a time when I was serving on Student Council and a fellow council member stated we were friends.  I don’t know why it hit a cord with me but I imphatically denied our friendship.  We were friendly.  We enjoyed many great conversations, but because I had not taken the time to evaluate if I could trust him or not, I automatically assumed he was not worthy.  What a foolish thought.  That conversation haunts me today because I look around me and there are not many pure friends in my life.  I often think of how he didn’t know much about me, but still wanted to be called my friend.

So justification…I had a criteria for friends.  This stems back to when I was this guy looking for some friends I thought I had in high school only to be sorely mistaking.  I vowed no one would ever treat me that way again.  I felt I had to take control over people in my life because when I didn’t control it, I was crushed.  In short, my response to him that visibly pissed him off (and inside I felt his pain, because I knew it well), was inexcusable.  And my “Adult” quest to make people do right by me and respect me was moving in the wrong direction.  I thought I was doing the right thing.  And at the time, I gave no thought to how I made others feel, only to how I felt about things.

As I’m older now, I realize that people respect you because you do right by them, not because they fear you.  At the time I was a stupid bull headed kid and if I could talk to me from then, I would say, “This isn’t going to work.  And you care about people more than you are letting on”.  Let’s just say my career milestones and successes have come because people know that I come from a place of love and not malice.  It took a long time to turn that around.

So, on to this theme of forgiveness.  Do I have anything to forgive myself for?  Do I need to ask others to forgive me when I was a dumb kid trying to figure things out?  As mature as I let on, I was so far behind my college mates (friends) who knew at least how to be polite to people and take cues that maybe what they said to someone hurt them.  Should you ask for forgiveness or have anything to forgive yourself for when you thought you were justified in your actions?  ABSOLUTELY you do.  Life is about growing.  And that growth means that no matter if your intentions were pure and actions poor, you affected someone negatively.  Your growth says even if you meant it then, it wasn’t the right thing to do and you should attempt to make amends with those you hurt, and the number one person you hurt was YOURSELF.  By alienating people, I lost out on a lifetime of good memories, drinks, shoulders to cry on, and support that was lacking many times in my life.  I remember getting my own place and wanting to throw a housewarming, but couldn’t come up with a high enough number on a guest list to justify “throwing” something.  See what I value most now, and what I totally took for granted then, were the moments you share with people.  Those ties bind forever.  I’m all about that now, and am less worried about someone hurting me because even if they do, I’m strong enough to recover, unlike 20 years ago.  So forgiveness is necessary for YOURSELF.  Understand that in order to grow, you have to make amends; with others and yourself too!

Economic, Political, Social

Hobby Lobby: A matter of FAITH

LaShawnda

Hobby Lobby SignI took this photo tonight when I went to take advantage of Hobby Lobby‘s 40% off sale on their stamps.  I spent $40 bucks on some awesome stamps, mostly Christian.

I got home and noticed that I received a response regarding the photo you see here on my Facebook.  It wasn’t bad, just their opinion that Hobby Lobby is “suing the federal government so they don’t have to do things like provide equitable health insurance coverage for their workers” and that the sign in the company’s entrance was merely a “window dressing”.  That sign has been up there since I have been patronizing the store.  I just took a photo of it because I thought it was cute.  Who would have thought it would turn into a blog entry?

My response is as follows, respectfully:

I haven’t really followed this, but what i know is that Hobby Lobby is a Christian based company.  They refuse, if i am not mistaken, to agree with the federal’s birth control mandate (paying for the “morning after pill”).  I understand and respect that because they are Christians who standing by what they believe in.  On their website, it clearly states they are  “honoring the Lord in a manner consistent with biblical principles,”

Also, i understand that Hobby Lobby isn’t alone in suing the Obama administration over this mandate (new health care law by President Barack Obama). There are other groups fighting against this mandate, it’s just that Hobby Lobby is the largest.

I am a Christian and I love to craft. I support their decision.  We are still respecting the First Amendment right?  Not all insurances pay for abortions or anything that “causes” an abortion, such as the morning after pill.  So why make this company do it?  I don’t think that’s fair.

I spoke with some workers there tonight and they are not happy with what the government is doing.  They are happy Hobby Lobby is fighting.  I mean, $1.3 million in daily fines if he doesn’t pay for types of contraception. YIKES!  It’s not like their employees are being mistreated.  They are actually getting good insurance coverage and getting paid well.  So, unless an employee had an issue with it, why did the government come after Hobby Lobby?  This company refuses to pay for the morning after pill.  They refuse to pay for “abortion-inducing drugs.”  They are staying true to their faith.  They will not be the first! Heck, my insurance doesn’t pay for it and I have GREAT insurance!

Ok, so now we have Walmart, who is a Christian-based company and Hobby Lobby.  I wonder are they going to go after Kraft’s Macaroni and Cheese next.  He’s, James L. Kraft,  was a Christian and his company was founded on Christian principles.

Bottom line: We all have free will.

This is my opinion.

What are your thoughts?

Family, Marriage, Social

This month’s theme: Boundaries

LaShawnda

This month’s, the focus will be on boundaries.  If you are like me, you may have an issue with it.  It’s hard to say no to some people.  When doing that, you tend to lose control in some areas of your life.  Can you relate to what I am saying?

I am currently reading a book called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  I highly recommend this book to those who have an issue setting boundaries in their life.

Don’t know if you are having issues with setting boundaries?  The book asked the following questions if you ever found yourself wondering:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
  • Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries?

Some of you may be thinking, “What exactly are boundaries when pertaining to me?”.  Well, the book states that they “are personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, and influence all areas of your life.”

The book discusses three types of boundaries: Physical, Mental and Emotional.

Physical boundaries help you to determine who may touch you and under what circumstance.

Mental boundaries give you the freedom to have your own thoughts and opinions.

Emotional boundaries help you deal with your own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others.

Does any of this sound familiar?  Can you relate to any of this? Do you need help in setting boundaries in your life?  Well this book is for you!

Here’s the book information and may it be a blessing in your life:

Softcover: $14.99

Hardcover: $21.99

———-

Softcover, Workbook: $12.99

Can you use a coupon for this? YES!  Visit Family Christian website to see what coupon to use, if they have free shipping and so much more!

I am currently on a journey to embracing the word “no”.  I have so many stories I can share on this topic, I could write my own book!  It’s a journey that’s slow, especially when you are dealing with folks close to you.  I know, with continued effort, I will soon have boundaries that I won’t regret.

You just can’t please everybody, you know?

Are you having issues with setting boundaries? What are they? Have you conquered the setting boundaries with family and friends?  Share your thoughts and stories with us.  We would love to know what’s on your mind.

Until next time…

La